maeve oh

07:28 pm: Dear Livejournal,

I'm plumb grown out of you. If you want to learn more about my recent going-ons, read here. It's just a little classier, and feels like a fresh start.

Yours,
Maeve

12:43 am: my life
SO BUSY.

The past month (i mean month) I've been so overwhelmed. I'm not going to be doing another musical again (unless they give you a decent and respectable compensation e.g. $1500).  I've been in the pit orchestra for two shows: Sweeney Todd with the Cornell Melodramatics, and the Count of Monte Cristo at Ithaca. I've been just having 7 - 11 rehearsals or performances or other time commitments for the past month after my classes that have me in the music school from 9 - 10 in the morning to 6 at night. I've been going insane, because if you think about it, that doesn't leave me with much time to do my homework, or you know, practice. The only thing holding me together is a) my 1993 passat which takes me away from ithaca college for an hours get away sometimes; and b) the fact that I got accepted to Brevard as a head resident; aka. i'm going for free this summer.

BIG SIGH

At least I can drive stick.

01:26 am: Everyone else's doing it
Okay. It's 1:26 am and I know by the time I finish writing this, it'll be no earlier than 2:00. So why? Because I'm the best procrastinator you'll ever meet. Still on my HW list for tonight is a paper, German, and possibly an opening statement.

I think I'm so behind on everything because on Wednesday night my mom came to visit. With her she brought a Pontillos pizza (omgomgomg), her new li'l cute car she scoots around in, and all the lubb in the world. It was so fun. We went and saw Pan's Labyrinth, which for the record wasn't that good (why don't you take offense to it...everyone else is...idiots). We went to Asia Cuisine and my mom ordered something she thought had beef in it, but when she got it she told me she didn't know what it was, and that  it seemed to be "fried globs of fat". We later concluded it was probably deep fried rice noodles, and probably not what she ordered. It was all okay because of the PP and bleu cheese, waiting patiently for us in T5 104. The next day we did a lil bit of shopping for my newly-acquired minidisc player between classes, and I took her the long way up to the mall (i.e. Collegetown / north Campus on cornell to triphammer) and I like being on the other hill, which I forgot. We got collegetown bagels, I came back for sightsinging while she took a nap. The plan was to go to Wegman's after that, which we did...but she was hesitant to wake up from her nap. So I bargained with her: I'd go get her car (a stick shift) and by the time she was up it would be back. I could get it out of the spot okay, but I stalled the engine about 6 times before having to wave someone down and ask "can you drive my mom's car for me." It was embarrassing...but OWELL ILL LAFF BOUT IT. This whole ordeal took about 20 minutes, and when I came back she was still sleeping. LALS. She concluded then that she didn't feel good enough to drive home and that she would stay another night, and so after chamber orchestra was out we hade more li'l moments/shopping/bonding times. It was so nice to have her around and it was sew fun. When she left on Friday morning, she made my bed and tucked in this li'l doggy I have on it so it looked like he was all snuggly buggly. SO CUTE.

(breathes)

So that was my little escape from the "Ithaca Bubble", and it was so appreciated for my sanity. On Friday night, Leila Josefowicz came so I went to that; which was followed by a pita pit and a viewing of Bringing up Baby. <3. The next day was the masterclass from 10-12; after this I got lunch and practiced for around 2.5 hours, took a shower / wasted time / ate dinner, practiced again for an hour or so, and then went to see Eraserhead at Cornell Cinemas with Mike. There were a few times in Blockbuster I considered renting it as a movie for everyone to watch, and im SEW GLAD I didn't. And then today came. I woke up with my face red and broken out and dry and just HIDEOUS and so naturlich I couldn't leave the room, especially to the hot, sweaty, clammy, locker-room, muggy, nasty music school, subject to people's OMG stories about last night, and judgementz. I tried to fix my stupid minidisc recorder to no avail, tried to do german homework...from all this nothingness, I just don't feel rested.

In short, I just hate how time flies by, and barely any good comes out of it. It's really frustrating. I hope Bryon's flight gets cancelled, because I won't be prepared for my lesson this week. I've been practicing for my Brevard / Garth Newel tapes, and he wanted me to bring in the Grieg sonata + something that I forgot to him on Tuesday. SO NOT PREPARED. I looked at the Grieg sonata tonight, and it's much harder than I remember. Oh gawd.

Also along the lines of 'oh shoot' was a thought occuring to me in the shower yesterday. Next year, I'll be a junior. Can you even believe that? Grad school? Already? I'll be living with two grad students in their second years. And then I realized, oh my fucking god, what do you do once you're done with your music degree? I've convinced myself so many times I'm okay with whatever happens, and I am to an extent, but at the same time its still so scary. Don't tell me I should be a music ed major, plz. Juss you know, fuck off if you're going to tell me that. LALS...what a bitch. Plz though, I know I have to teach, and plan on getting my Suzuki certification. So basically, I'm just wondering what degree I should pursue after I get all my music schooling done with. Personally I hope it's some sort of degree in being a housewife. "DONT QUOTE ME ON THAT ONE~". I guess really I'm frustrated that you're expected to know what to do with yourself for the rest of your life when you're 17, and start doing it when you're 22.

It's 2:00.
Oh god....Ich will ins Bett gehen; aber ich muss Hausaufgaben machen. Das ist richtig...ja?

P.S. Townsend's Achille's Heel: His long thumbnail he keeps at least .75 of an inch (think about how big that is) long for his classical guitar playin.

10:21 am: i suck
These were the things I planned to do over winter break:

• practice Carl Flesch scales 1 - 10 of a key every day
• ensure I had new pants, shoes, top for concert dress
• learn most of the Mendelssohn concerto
• learn most of the Bach fugue
• learn my part to Beethoven 7 inside/out
• learn 2 orchestral excerpts for Brevard tapes
  
• learn or at least get acquainted with my part to Trout
• save up $$ for a future trip for Austria
• be healthy
• get Verizon situation sorted out
• learn Rode caprice and other assorted bull etudes
• get new strings & bow rehaired

Instead, this is what happened.

• practiced Carl Flesch about 2x a week, on a good week
• got new pants
• half-assedly learned 1&3 of Mendy
• can make it /through/ the fugue, at like half tempo where there's 4 voiced chords for an entire measure or two
• listened to Beethoven 7 a lot at the beginning of break and practiced it 2 days ago for 30 minutes
• flat out didn't even LOOK for excerpts
• "                                         " for the Trout, until just now in my other tab.
• saved up $$ but ended up with $30 at the end
• was healthy half the time
• forgot about Verizon
• looked at Rode caprice and was so flustered at what a stupid piece of music it was
• got new strings.
• Car broke down, and am now the new owner of:
• , thus back at square 1 with my money.
• had lots of fun.

11:18 pm: For the past week, I've have a pretty nasty head cold that has alleviated me of my smelling duties. I didn't realize what a blessing this was until lately when I regained ability and smelled a freshly used bathroom, burnt food, freezer burn, a smelly trashcan, and overly flavored coffees. :( :( :(

No news about the car yet. I'll keep you posted (I know you'll be dying to hear) but I'm going to see a 93 VW Passat. Go me...and it's a stickshift. O JOY

11:21 pm: ty ty to ANDREW
Once tagged by this entry, the assignment is to list 10 movies: your 5 Favorites & your 5 Guilty Pleasures. Then, pick 5 of your friends and tag them. No tag backs. This explanation should be included.

Favorites: (some of them)

1. Muriel's Wedding
2. Big
3. Harold and Maude
4. My Life as a Dog
5. I just saw this last night and rully enjoyed it: Haute Tension

Guilty Pleasures:

1. Sister Act
2. Most Disney Movies
3. Scarface
4. Sesame Street: Follow That Bird agreed
5. Early/mid 90's movies like Blank Check, Richie Rich, My Blue Heaven, etc.

I tag: EMURR, Alaina, Wendy, Katie Lurr, and Michael. WE'LL SEE WHO ACTUALLY DOES IT.

Right now I sort of miss all my college friends...aw......the li'l violin buddies and eating dinner togetha all the time...aww shucks.

OH YEAH MY CAR BROKE DOWN. So, I'm selling it for scrap and sewing together the small small teensy amount of money I've made over break (like $300) and trying to buy something. In the running; 1991 Volkswagen Jetta; 1990 Toyota Camry, 1994 Saab 900...but he wants my bro's PS3 so thats an EHHH. Send prayers to the used car gods for me. Also to the skinny gods...I'm faaat lately.

Love,
Maeve

Tags: the stupid triplet lick in rainbow body

01:21 am: I feel pretty refreshed after spending some much needed time with good friends. The most important thing I feel is that I'm slowly waking up from this hazy & muddled thought process I've had for months, and that I'm regaining ability to think somewhat clearly (at least moreso than usual). Tonight was so warm and so comfortable...I just love when Francesca comes to visit. Spending time at 144 HH was really nice tonight, I just felt like that there was no place I'd rather be...even though I knocked my head pretty nastily on the corner of a closet after falling backwards on one of those dumb yoga balls...my fault. In other news I went to my first meeting today and am pretty excited to take better care of my body.  Too bad my car, who just got everything tuned up, was steaming like mad today...for some reason I can't stop associating the word "hamburger" with the whole situation. Also for todays adventures, while Noah & Francesca visited me at work, a woman in her hospital gown, 6-month bed head, and bare feet, was trying to escape for a cigarette till a nurse was like 'lets go back upstairs'. Also along the same line of distasteful humor is the woman with an oxygen tank, who's friend tripped over it. LALS

10:14 pm: antepenultimate day to christmas
Today's adventures:

- waking up at 8:30
- going to Eastman for my sister's band concert and being so relieved I didn't go to school there
- making fun of old ladies playing flute, who should have not been allowed to play them in the first place
- looking through stacks of music
- eating hyooge slices of pizza from Stromboli
- driving as a family in the Chevalier
- coming home to a house that smelled like fecal matter (we had a plummer visiting)
- being picked up by NOAH (whos been in Austria for the past few months) and Sean
- makin cuhkies that are composed mostly of almond paste
- decorating cokies, making a huge mess
- feeling good about my decision to drop ed after getting frustrated while reading through 4 part carols
- playing cello, piano, violin
- singing karols turrbly
- doing handstands
- winning at foosball twice in a row
- eating cokies
- going caroling for a good two hours
- getting a metal splinter from a ridiculously huge (think BJ's jars of mayo, etc) can of almond paste
- successfully ridding myself of aforementioned splinter
- getting into arguments with dad over computer (who uses 2 at once ot cheat at bridge)

okay, and now I have tomorrow.

Tags: christmas

09:34 pm: Hoeme for da Hobbibsaesys
Okay, so as of yesterday at 4:00, I'm home for the next month. Recap of the end of my semester: I dropped my ed degree, reprioritized, had a respectable jury, played a gig with the lovely Natasha, found out the one guy I sort of like here at IC has a girlfriend, cried after a decent quartet performance, had a mind blowing orchestra performance, have allowed myself to have fun again. My finals went terribly. I hope I can get a passing grade in Ed Psych. I would have never guessed myself to be the kind of person who wouldn't do well in school, especially considering my grades last year. C'est la vie. I don't know any French. So that is what worries me, as well as my music theory final. I just haven't done well all semester in that class, for stupid reasons. Other than that though, the other 184309421 classes I'm taking should have half to semi respectable grades.

big sigh

Oh yeah, Susan's going on sabbatical for the entire semester. Ugh, I'll miss her SOOOOO bad. I cried myself a li'l tear when I have my lesson in her studio, and neither she or all of her cute stuff will be there. Oh, Susan!

So far I have my Christmas shopping done. I take pride in getting good presents for the other 6 people in my family, but it sort of sucks at the same time because I always feel a little dissappointed when it's not reciprocated, even though it feels good to give peopel things they like. I cooked stir fry for dinner tonight & it was too salty. Oh well. Last night I hung out with my older sister, Nichola, and also with her friends. We had a lot of fun, and I never thought I'd be able to say that...it makes me sehr happy.

Plans for break:

Work (try shifts from 6am - 2:30)

Practice (learn all of Mendelssohn, Bach A minor fugue, so that I can start working on the Chaccone this semester

Be healthy (start going to WW meetings)

Have fun

11:50 pm: oh , we had it huge...
That was an awesome concert, everyonez. GR8 JOB!

11:45 pm: It's snowing out...SYQ

01:12 am: So..It's decided. I'm droppin' my ed degree. I talked with Susan -- she agreed with me 100,000%. I'm so pumped to focus on playing the violin, taking liberal arts classes (read: german), being able to study abroad at a reasonable time, and having time to practice. No more Chorus! No more MFE! No Ed Psych! No more secondary instruments!  (although I may continue with Cello) No more silly classes! SO FREAKIN PUMPED.

So, I've only been back two days but it feels like I never left...had two performances today and neither were prepared nearly as well as I would have liked. It made me sort of ashamed and I spent most of the day after that angry. But I took time away from Whalen and helped a friend move...which for a funny reason made me happy.

Oh man...pumped. I wish I had something wittier or more hilarious to tell you, but nope. Sorry if I've ruined your day.

Love,
Maeve

01:09 am: thoughts / confeshuns / bein' serros noe
It appears as though there are some possible changes for my upcoming semester, or future.

Number one being that I might drop my music education degree, and just do performance. I've given this a lot of thought...and will ask the opinions of MANY of my various teachers. My main reason for considering this is that I feel like I came to music school to progress on my instrument, and focus first and foremost on that. I feel like I didn't give my degree choice (or major, for that matter) much thought. I thought, music is something I'm good at -- why don't I major in it? I didn't give a lot of thought to it...and jumped right into doing what was necessary to become one. Along the same train of thought, while filling out applications, I didn't really know what degree I wanted. I know I wanted to be performance, and that I was somewhat, at some level, vaguely interested in Music Education. On the Eastman application, I didn't think about how if I had applied to be a Music Ed major, that the likelihood of acceptance would go up, and that I could have switched over to Performance if i really wanted to later. So I applied to be a performance major. On the Ithaca application, I saw that there was a handy-dandy box that said I could apply for both. SO I DID. In both cases -- the number one issue was that I become a better, more competent, violinist and musician.

After a year and a half, I'm realizing some things...In my life as a musician, I DO want to teach -- I plan on it. I feel a really big teaching instinct and my teachers have commented / given me props on this many a time. But I'm not sold on the idea of teaching in public schools and becoming the next Mr. Brown (although he was an amazing teacher). I plan on getting Suzuki certification and all that good stuff, and I don't feel like whether or not my undergraduate degree says BME instead of BM that it would be too much of a deciding factor. If I want to go back and teach public schools, I can get certified in my graduate work...right? I feel like the Music Ed program sort of prepares you for life in a hurry -- most graduates (95% says the catalogue) go on straight away to teaching in a school district. I just don't feel that same rush. I want to breathe in my 20s...travel, pursue interests other than music, have weird jobs, etc. Not necessarily, boom boom boom job, marriage, kids. I'm cutting myself a lot more slack than my peers, I think. But the main reason I think for all of this sudden doubt is that doing the double major makes it near impossible to give either field the focus it needs to do well. Right now, my time commitments are the following.

Violin 2	Class Voice	Class Cello
Educational Psychology	Music Field Experience	Symphony Orchestra
Chamber Orchestra	String Quartet	Sightsinging
Music Theory	Music History	Rep Class
Scales Lessons	Chorus	Recital Attendance

So, right now, I am on a constant time crunch...and I never get to practice as much as I need to. This is my main fuel for the switch...I haven't really been progressing and I'm going out of my mind.

Okay. That turned into an essay...sorry. It's done.

Other change: I think my roommate wants to switch. Like, not rooms. Roommates. It sucks. We used to be such good friends. I assume that I'd just have to move into a single...and the main thing I'm worried about is being lonely. (especially with my closest friend going to austria till july).

Anyway...both are big deals, kinda.

Okay. das awl.

LUBB MABE

06:32 pm: tgiving
Sorry I've neglected you so, Livejournal. In any case, today was good: I got a bloody eye...pod! iPod! I woke up with a bloody eye this morning. It appears to be some minor hemmorhage, the bad news is that it takes weeks to clear up. The good news: I went to the bank today to collect my free ipod nano for opening an account! I thought it was going to be the last gen of nanos but it's a new one! COULDNT BELIEVE IT! So underneath the cut is visual proof of both events.

( not for the faint of heart )

Love,
Maeve

06:06 am: Sophomore year, take 2
Dear Livejournal,

I'm starting over this block. Last block, I was prioritized all backwards. I have A's in all my 1 credit classes, and anywhere from a B- to A- in my 3/4 credit classes. WTF dumb ho. Not only that, but I no longer know how to practice. This block, I can practice 2 - 3 hours a day, go to the gym 5 days a week, work, do my homework, go to all my classes, see concerts / recitals occasionally, have friends, have fun, and call home.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

06:00 am: I've discussed this with friends on more occassions than one, but not doing my work causes me much more stress than not doing it. I'm looking forward to fall break so that I can come back and learn to use my time much more efficiently. God damn, I've been really terrible at managing my time and everything else I have of value this year. The only work I've been good about doing is going to the gym. And procrastinating. AHH GEEZ. Thankfully the only real work I have to do between now and then is tell Susan that I have to cancel yet again another extra lesson because I can't manage my time, and write up my MFE hours. O, GOTT.

In other news, it's been so beautiful out lately.

12:02 am: in the mirror image of jesstort
Thursday
-Theory Hearing
-Cello Exam
-Sightsinging Hearing

Friday
-ORCHESTRA audition/hearing...this involves me knowing my part in and out...I got my music thursday and its TUFF

Otha News:
I owe verizon $356 and my credit rating is bad. WHOO HOO! NEVER SIGN UP FOR A CELL PHONE IN YOUR OWN NAME LOL MAKE YOUR PARENTS PAY FOR IT.

01:46 am: this is prolly the start of a bad habit
I've always felt unfortunate that I was born at the turn of a century. I will forever wonder the rest of the century will turn out. :(

Crying myself to sleep,
Maeve

p.s. I changed my colors. LYKE it?!

01:16 pm: Oh livejournal, it's been a while. I feel like I am entirely too old for this. And I probably am. But there are people in their 30's who use this...mostly to talk about Beanie Babies and other ridiculous hick fads...nevertheless, here I am.

Basically, this summer, I worked at a coffee shop, went on weight watchers and lost 30 pounds, and spent every day just "chillen'" as they say in " 'da Port" and feeling good...going to the public market, listening to Glenn Gould. Then I broke my wrist, and did more or less of the same thing. OH YEAH how could I forget? We moved to Brighton...in a ( really cute house. )
So now I'm at school, cast came off last week, and I'm in physical therapy. It's hard to say how this year will turn out for me academically. I feel like a peup snot when everyone else around me is progressing and I have to work hard to get back where I was at the end of last year. Which is hard, cause I worked hard to get there. At the very least, my posture is not as terrible and I can play with my elbow not touching my side without having to think too hard about it. And that's something, isn't it?

For now I'm broke...without a cell phone (p.s. my room phone # is 607 375-4284) until I can pay off the $225+ that's owed. I have a car, but gas is getting low and if I ran out, I'd have no money to fill it. It sucks how money has a direct link to how you feel (or at least that's the case with me)....security is a good thing. I've been spending time with a lot of not-music-majors, and while initially I feel sort of shy, I think it's going to keep me sane a li'l bit. For the majority my classes are fine. I've gotten more excited to be a music teacher, because I finally realized I could be a musician whose life wasn't a complete drain to society. I'm learning how to sing and play the cello...pretty dank.

Mmmm....I suck at writing these things, maybe I'll just give up...which wouldn't be a bad idea either. My room's a pigsty and I've only got 3 hours left till I have to piss away my night working my first shift back in the dining halls.

Tschüs,
Maeve

11:54 pm: GOOD NEWS

1. i got employed today! i am officially a barista at finger lakes coffee roasters, at the strong hospital. and i work with hillary cox! which is cool because the last time i hung out with her we were in 5th grade. hahaa

2. I LOST 6 POUNDS since last week.

BAD NEWS
1. THE OILERS LOST THE STANLEY CUP.